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Little Shovels

by Kate Powell

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1.
mlth 02:27
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I place your hands around my throat the only throat I have been given It’s hard to put this thing to words Which tempts me now to risk them all Come and sleep inside my home, The only home that I can give you When Jove was grown he skinned his goat This was well, it was her honor there’s a blemish on my heart like a dave Matthews band sticker on a car whatever sweet things you attach to me are not of me you’ll take them with you when you go Smooth of flank, caressed, hard-ridden when jove was grown he cut her throat Her horns broke off and overflowed he took only what he was given
2.
ear 01:17
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I’d write upon the air and wrap my handwriting around your head a crown of looping y’s and g’s that would invite me to draw near breathe upon your temple and into your perfect ear I could send a wordless sound into your mysterious center warm and dark, where it would melt pure, uncomprehended fearlessly received, it would be the thing whose name I scarce dare speak, a forever.
3.
orion 02:46
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I must say I’m not prepared to lose you Ask me again tomorrow I don’t know when you thought I’d give into you Ask me again tomorrow what if you go to the mountain and it shrinks away from you? I daresay I’m not prepared to lose to you Try me again tomorrow All this time within your sight, It was me on the horizon all while you thought I was too nice It was me you should’ve kept your eye on I must say I’m not prepared to lose you Ask me again tomorrow I don’t known when you thought I’d give into you
4.
cream of tartar 03:32
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if I try a little harder then I can fly this thing a little farther Just around the bend a sweet reminder Of paradise and why I even bother it’s not a way that you can say you have not been before having your heart torn out and then going back for more throwing good time after bad, that’s what you think I’m doing but it can’t go wrong tonight, I know because I am drawing curtains and assuming the position I’ll make of me that needful thing I’ll make of me that needful thing desire is a cruel master It eats the proud alive and loves a martyr and I don’t know which is harder The waiting or the knowing what comes after it’s not a way that you can say you have not been before having your heart torn out and then going back for more throwing good time after bad, that’s what you think I’m doing but it can’t go wrong tonight, I know because I am drawing curtains and assuming the position I’ll make of me that needful thing I’ll make of me that needful thing
5.
cerises 02:21
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what I’ll be is a basket of cherries un tout petit x sur la poitrine de chacune, Welling with a thick dark humor what I’ll eat is a basket of cherries avaler même les noyaux, les noyer Dans mon gésier, où pousse un cerisier
6.
sha la la la 02:40
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I don’t want to be cruel to you ‘cause I’m out of the habit you’re a piece of work too you know see how often you get your way? Not about to be outdone In terms of keeping my counsel I’ve already thought it out Ten or twelve steps along the way da da da da dum, da da da da da da da dum mmm sha la la ha oooo I know how to be good to you And I’ve made it a habit I can be stubborn too you know So go on and get out of my way It’s very hard to define But you know when you see it I’m not afraid anymore What’s mine is yours, So don’t let it get away da da da da dum, da da da da da da da dum mmm sha la la ha oooo
7.
hold music 01:03
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I’ve been going steady with a whirlpool for weeks a hundred miles an hour going round and round without no relief throw me a rope and I will tie it in a bow around my waist like a present or a sign to say, “cut along the dotted line, babe”
8.
cat soul sky 01:55
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my cat stares into my soul, she is calling me out as a witch I always should know what I am about from my earliest failures at flight, skinned knees are my preferred method of blood sacrifice will it work? There’s only one way that I can find out sable, a friendlier-than-black-but-weaker-too sky I fell to the dismissive shoulder roll of a guy from the way the quartz glints tonight I can tell I have two choices, I can clean up or fight as for the moon, she says she would never shrink for a guy
9.
ubeendone 02:50
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you’ve been done wrong, you’ve been done wrong, you’ve been done wrong, but that don’t give you the right to pass it along it’s a mighty hard nut to crack if you try it alone but that’s all o’ your business and none of my own I would make you coffee every single day if I thought for a minute you’d be more inclined to stay but there I go again, begging doesn’t look good on me if you look back again, that’ll be something to see one piece of the puzzle I may never find why do I hang on so just to be left behind? But there I go again, making it all ‘bout me if I for once blink first that’ll be something to see you’ve been done wrong, you’ve been done wrong, you’ve been done wrong, but that don’t give you the right (na na na na na na) to pass it along it’s a mighty hard nut to crack if you try it alone but that’s none of my business and all of your own someday we’ll be happy, someday we’ll be blue someday we’ll be wise as those we think that we outdrew and if I know you then, I hope you also know me if I am more myself, that’ll be someone to be
10.
a pelle 03:23
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it’s like all I’ve got are these little shovels and all I know how to do is dig but these are some tiny salt cellar shovels I’ve gotta make the hole deep ‘cause I can’t make it big around I know it’s on account of these little shovels that I never get anything done when every flat surface is a hole waiting to happen I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am he said okay well if you’re gonna shovel Then why don’t you get yourself some real shovels And really make a go of it, give it your best heave-ho But I don’t want to be unfaithful to my always-faithful little shovels Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
11.
crown 04:05
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compliments, pearls thrown to miss piggy to distract her while you flee are you cutting the rainbow connection while you dance in circles with me? what’s the point in the world being ending if I’ll never be what you need? where the hell did you learn that trick if you didn’t learn it from lou reed? put it on me more remember that you can’t take it back again put it on me more I’m starting to feel like myself again Please don’t wait Until it’s too late To put the crown on my head One of these days I might stand so tall that you can’t reach the top of me compliments, half-truths made bitter by the second shoe that always drops makes me like the spots I see when the dancing in circles stops what’s the point in meeting your next lover if you never can meet yourself? you can shine your dancing shoes if you really think that will help you get away put it on me more remember that you can’t take it back again put it on me more I’m starting to feel like myself again put it on me more remember that you can’t take it back again put it on me more I’m starting to feel like myself again Please don’t wait Until it’s too late To put the crown on my head One of these days I might stand so tall that you can’t reach the top of me
12.
onglet 02:14
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j’ai renversé ta tasse de café sur mon lit aussitôt que t’es parti comme si pour diviner quel continent te me volera je dirais groenland et l’archipel arctique-canadien un matelas taché de sang et du café, une metaphore pas inappropriée même s’il vaut mieux ne pas noter ses metaphores comme je le fais, étant gauchère je suis prédisposée à tout gâcher voilà, c’est plus la peine de parler autour d’un amour que tu ne ressens pas depuis mille neuf-cent soixante-dix-huit, un homme de Lafayette, Louisianne qui s’appelle Richard Gibson a collectionné toutes ses coupures d’ongle dans un pot, qu’il affiche chez lui comme un trésor ce qui nous separe d’un tel personnage n’est pas un gout pour le vraiment degeulasse, mais la devotion qu’il faut pour s’attaquer à une tâche qui n’aura jamais fin, qui n’aura jamais fin, n’aura jamais fin tu vois, c’est plus ma faute : impénétrable, tu arriveras intact à la porte de la prochaine femme voilà, c’est plus la peine de parler autour d’un amour qui restera dans son pot, et n’aura jamais fin n’aura jamais fin n’aura jamais fin n’aura jamais fin
13.
herod antipas 03:01
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you’d have turned to ash and blown away by now if it was true what they say about loving oneself before one can know the love of another thanks to the miracles of 21st-century civilization you’re never as alone as you might guess in the bible you were an agent of herod antipas jesus caught some flack for dining in your questionable company he told those who would judge you that he has come to call not the righteous but rather sinners to repentance a story you’ve heard too much too believe: irrespective of merit, two souls board a creaky gravitron and emerge wholly blended when she feeds you all her favorite foods, plays you her favorite records she is saying I require no privacy from you you’d have turned to ash and blown away by now if you ever were gonna a story you’ve heard too much too believe: repentance

about

All of these songs (with the exception of herod antipas) were written and recorded over the past two and a half years in the places I’ve called home over the course of a serious but on-and-off relationship.

During the relationship I struggled with many difficult emotions. I often felt like something other than my partner’s first choice. Eventually, I realized that I had been treating myself as if I wasn’t my own first choice. As usually happens in my life, I came to this realization in song long before my conscious mind was ready to embrace it. Or maybe my fear of certain circumstances and events, distilled and made tangible in my songs, projected those circumstances and events into my physical world and into the world of my relationship. Maybe both. Either way, everything I predicted for myself in these songs has come true.

I am probably not done singing about this, but I am done singing ONLY about this.

If you are listening, then I dedicate these songs to you.

In loving memory of icompositions.com

credits

released October 6, 2018

All songs written, performed, recorded, and “edited”/”mixed” (such as they are) by Kate Powell at home in Santa Fe and Seattle

Life-sustaining love and support provided by: Kelly Mytinger – Maddie Cusimano – Mariah Phillips – Umi Tuesday – Zach Grudberg – Andrea Cetra – Luke Hewitt – Cleo Rohn – Jerin Blauser – Will Herbert – Kajsa Nelson – Charlotte Jusinski – Kimberly Tower – Julian Delacruz – Casey Cox – David Reed – Laura Taylor – Tim Taylor – Joanna Raustein – Eric Johnson – Sam Gray – Ben Kersten – Kate Kieve – Elizabeth Hughes – Kelley Kieve – Mom – Dad – Melissa Reiss – John Powell – My incredible therapist, whose name I do not wish to share lest y’all use it to creepily Google him – Barbara – Gillian – Elvis

(on a pelle, i am intentionally quoting goo goo dolls.)

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Kate Powell Seattle, Washington

irritating sagittarius with a heart of gold

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